further testing results.
I went to another computer, using ie7 instead of ie8. now, within ie7, the problem exist on both IIS and apache.
so, i know there is a problem, most likely in my css, which will take a lot of time to figure out. esp having to test on multiple servers and multiple browsers.
edit: I removed this, which surrounded several divs, including my menu, from my html, and that now works from IIS in both ie7 and 8,
Code:
<div id="header"> and </div>
this is all that was in the css, why would this break IE? I am at a loss here.
Code:
#header {
width: 100%;
padding:0;
margin:0;
position: relative;
}
the good news is, its working, and the formatting stayed, so I am happy. My html just doesn't seem as clean, as I don't have a clearly defined header, but I cna live with that now 
thanx for the suggestion of going through each css element!
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