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Thread: Funny Stuff

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    Default Funny Stuff

    HERE IS THE WASHINGTON POST'S MENSA INVITATIONAL WHICH
    ONCE AGAIN ASKED READERS TO TAKE ANY WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY, ALTER IT BY
    ADDING, SUBTRACTING, OR CHANGING ONE LETTER, AND SUPPLY A NEW DEFINITION.

    HERE ARE THE WINNERS:

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
      financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
    2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
    3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
      lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
    4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
    5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
      bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
      little sign of breaking down in the near future.
    6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
    7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
    8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
      doesn't get it.
    9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    10. Osteo****osis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
    11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
      really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes
      and it's like, a serious bummer.
    12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through
      the day consuming only things that are good for you.
    13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
    14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
      they come at you rapidly.
    15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
      you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


    THE WASHINGTON POST HAS ALSO PUBLISHED THE WINNING
    SUBMISSIONS TO ITS YEARLY CONTEST, IN WHICH READERS ARE ASKED TO SUPPLY
    ALTERNATE MEANINGS FOR COMMON WORDS AND THE WINNERS ARE:

    1. coffee , n. the person upon whom one coughs.
    2. flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one
      has gained.
    3. abdicate , v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    4. esplanade , v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
    5. willy-nilly , adj. impotent.
    6. negligent , adj. answering the door when wearing
      only a nightgown.
    7. lymph , v. to walk with a lisp.?
    8. gargoyle , n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
    9. flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has
      been run over by a steamroller.
    10. balderdash , n. a rapidly receding hairline.
    11. testicle , n. a humorous question on an exam.
    12. rectitude , n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
    13. pokemon , n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
    14. oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
    15. Frisbeetarianism , n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies
      up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    16. circumvent , n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
      men.
    Last edited by jscheuer1; 11-24-2008 at 05:35 AM. Reason: improve proper capitalization, spacing
    - John
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  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jscheuer1 For This Useful Post:

    djr33 (11-22-2008),Snookerman (11-22-2008)

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